Boxing Day in Wigan
They emerged, that day, with the first few flakes of snow. Drifting in as if from nowhere. A scarcely believable sight for a pair of Aussies a long way from home.
A chicken. A pig. And one enormously uddered cow. They marched into the pub and no one seemed to notice as they strode to the bar to partake in some pints. The pig bought the first round and could barely contain his laughter as he watched the cow slip an extra long udder into the chicken’s beer.
A choking chicken. A sniggering pig. And a cow reciting a carefully rehearsed “pull [...]
Welcome to London
I stepped out to the street from my new London abode.
“Oi! Do yu wa”a buy a laptop?”
I started sweating from the moment I saw it. I had been thinking of scouring the second hand market for a computer, but here was something that had slipped through its fingers.
“I’d have to have a proper look at it mate.”
In the car. Inane and idle chatter.
“Foirs’ time in London?”
“Yes, yes, not been here long.”
“Wel’ome to London son”
“Thanks” I said pouring over the laptop. A Pentium IV, 64 meg of RAM. Good. 10 gig, DVD, looks new. Looks good.
“Well i’s a Sony in’ i’?”
“Yes. [...]
London Trawling
My recent travels have required me to do some serious trawling for accommodation, perhaps more so in London than anywhere else. For that genuine London Eye-opening experience, the best ride in town has to be the city’s accommodation roller coaster.
Like so many new arrivals in London, my partner and I mooched our way through our first few weeks in town. We stayed with some long lost, but happily rediscovered, relatives who had three small children and a room to spare. The children clung to my limbs like baubles on a reluctantly replanted Christmas tree and reaffirmed my resolve to delay [...]
Writing »
Gonzo Journalism – Turkey Business
Last Christmas, I was poisoned by my mother-in-law. It was nothing personal. She poisoned her heavily pregnant daughter as well.
“Urgh!” announced my better half from the bathroom. “That’s the first spew of my pregnancy.”
“I blame the turkey,” I said pushing past for a turn at the bowl.
“But you didn’t even eat the turkey.”
“Exactly,” I said with a splatter. “That’s how bad it was.”
But I had no idea how bad it was until, this silly season, I went to see some turkeys.
“There must be quite a build up of stock for Christmas,” I said to my animal liberationist guide, Emma, as [...]
Video »
Satire – Golden Gavel 2010
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2010.
Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was ‘Barristers – without solicitors they’re really just fluff and stuffing’. 500+ lawyers watch the event.
This was the last year I am ‘young’ enough to compete so I went for broke and tried to put on a real show. I also took the opportunity to made fun of: the President of Young Lawyers, the President of the Lawyer Society and the Honourable Justice Bergin Chief Judge in Equity of [...]
Audio »
Guerilla Law – complaints about police
I set up my ‘free legal advice’ stall in Glebe. Two young men sat down and said they were sick of being hassled by the police. I told them that the best thing to do would be to avoid the police in question. I also told them how to make a complaint about the police.
I recorded the conversation and it was broadcast on 2SER’s law show ‘Radio Atticus’. You can listen below:
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Media »
Satire – engineers beat lawyers
As the team of lawyers were quick to point out, 11 of the 27 prime ministers of this country have practised law. So how did a team of engineers convince an audience that they, rather than lawyers, would make better politicians, when even Gillard and Abbott both have law degrees?
Try this argument from the engineers’ second speaker, Andrew Pratley: “Australia had only one choice at the election, and that was to elect a lawyer. And what did we do? We rejected them both.”
The inaugural debate between Young Engineers Australia Sydney Division and the Law Society of NSW Young Lawyers was [...]
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Satire – What Makes a Man Bare All?
Anthony’s 2004 Adelaide Fringe debut takes us on a journey that bares all. With musical support from Gary and Rob (and constant interruptions by Michael Hicks), the show features such unusual explorations as:
• why spotted ties send the wrong message
• the rejection letter poem
• the army, cocaine, grenades and me
• why thinking about work can actually increase arousal
• losing your virginity; beware the dark blue ring
• hard up at the puppetry of the penis auditions
• the brighter side of breaking your penis
• a long weekend sleeping out with the homeless
If there is a place in hell for you [...]
