Gonzo Journalism – Turkey Business
Last Christmas, I was poisoned by my mother-in-law. It was nothing personal. She poisoned her heavily pregnant daughter as well.
“Urgh!” announced my better half from the bathroom. “That’s the first spew of my pregnancy.”
“I blame the turkey,” I said pushing past for a turn at the bowl.
“But you didn’t even eat the turkey.”
“Exactly,” I said with a splatter. “That’s how bad it was.”
But I had no idea how bad it was until, this silly season, I went to see some turkeys.
“There must be quite a build up of stock for Christmas,” I said to my animal liberationist guide, Emma, as [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Tony Laumberg
When I’m not busy Googling myself, I like to flip through the pages of the Law Society Journal … looking for myself. Recently, I spotted an ad for a play by writer, producer, and fellow lawyer Tony Laumberg. I noted with interest that Find Me A Lawyer would be his eleventh annual production of “fun and frivolity” with a legal hook. Eleven plays!
I felt a jealous pang, tossed the Journal aside and resumed Googling myself.
I could not help but be drawn to the reviews of my own comedy shows: “the show … didn’t seem to have much point” (Adelaide Fix, [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Medically Supervised Injecting Centre
“I’d like to be a fly on your wall,” I said. “I’ll just sit there quietly, watching users inject.”
“No, we made a decision about that sort of thing a long time ago. We’re a health service, not a zoo,” said the guy who took my call at the Medically Supervised Injecting Centre. “Why don’t you come on one of our guided tours?”
“You have tours?”
“We started doing them when we first started out – mostly for health workers and the local community. Ten years later, we’re still doing tours.”
So, they took down my name and profession and, on a Tuesday afternoon, [...]
Guerilla Law – complaints about police
I set up my ‘free legal advice’ stall in Glebe. Two young men sat down and said they were sick of being hassled by the police. I told them that the best thing to do would be to avoid the police in question. I also told them how to make a complaint about the police.
I recorded the conversation and it was broadcast on 2SER’s law show ‘Radio Atticus’. You can listen below:
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Gonzo Journalism – Malaysian Swap
As a long financial year drew to a close, my psyche told me I needed a holiday. My accountant told me I needed deductions. And so, I flew myself and my family (read: employees) to a resort in Malaysia for a Journal of Contract Law conference.
After making myself Robinson Crusoe by showing up to the first session in shorts, I slunk back to my room to change into my suit, returning in time for lunch. Of course, the Australia/Malaysia refugee swap was the buffet-queue stopper.
“We have no right to criticise,” said one Malaysian lawyer. “We are awful to refugees.”
I suddenly [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Lawyer in the Making
My de facto Sally is, at the time of writing, just over 40 weeks pregnant. It’s our first. We’re expecting a boy. And I want our son to have all the things that I never had: a prescribed career path, parental pressure, and a boater. So, to get our boy off to the best possible start, Sally, belly and I went to the recent Independent Schools Expo to ” ask all the questions parents need to ask to assess a school’s suitability for their child” or, in this instance, foetus.
” Getting in early I see,” said the woman at the [...]
Guerilla Law – how to get a divorce
I set up my ‘free legal advice’ stall at the Kiama Seaside Markets. A guy called Carl sat down and told me he had been separated from his wife for years and wanted to know how to get a divorce. (Between you and me, I think Carl might have had a new romance developing and wanted a clean slate.) He said he didn’t know where to begin.
I told Carl to visit the Family Court and fill in the forms. If you don’t have any children under the age of 18, you don’t even have [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Graduation Day
After a long and difficult battle, my university finally succumbed, and I became a graduand for a Master of Dispute Resolution (with Honours).
The ceremonial instructions displayed a typical lack of humour (with a touch of passive voice): “You must return your academic dress … within one hour of the close of your graduation ceremony … By hiring the academic dress, you agree [we are] entitled to charge you the full purchase price … if it is not returned by the return time.”
I thought I should try out my new qualification in dispute resolution (with much dishonour) by taking off, and [...]
Gonzo Journalism – International Be Kind to Lawyers Day
The second Tuesday in April was the inaugural International Be Kind To Lawyers Day. The day was conceived by a non-lawyer who explains at www.bekindtolawyers.com that he feels sorry for lawyers and thinks we should be “treated like regular people” for at least one day a year. To celebrate the day, I planned to seek kindness by sitting in Martin Place, in my suit, next to a sign stating “lawyer” with an arrow pointing to me.
But, alas, duty called. A regular corporate client wanted me to work from their office for the day. Not wanting to forsake the day (and [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Street Count
It was a Monday. Having arranged to work from home for the day, I snuck in a nap after lunch and, as soon as I’d tucked in the clients for the night, I went straight to bed. Alas, this is not my usual routine. I was readying myself for a night shift, walking the streets, counting homeless people. I had volunteered for ‘Street Count’ – the City of Sydney’s annual count of the city’s homeless population.
I tried to sleep, but the neighbours had gone to bed early – and randy – and seemed intent on letting everyone know. I think [...]
Gonzo Journalism – Erin Brockovich
I recently discovered in my letterbox an invitation to be “a special guest at an afternoon with Erin Brockovich” to celebrate the launch of a law firm’s new Sydney office. I wondered why I had been invited. On reading that “Erin has been working with the firm since 2007″, I wondered why a law firm would need a non-lawyer like Erin Brockovich to help them with their work. I decided to find out.
I accepted the invitation. I re-watched the film. I went to my local library and borrowed the co-authored self-help book that had followed. And I arrived at the [...]
Radio Atticus – seventh brush with the law
The seventh installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Kiama Seaside Markets. Maggie wanted to know what to do about an electricity company that damaged her household appliances.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Lexcursions – No Pants Train Ride
This year marked the tenth annual ‘No Pants Train Ride’ – a flash mob event, originating from the US, where participants take off their pants and go riding on trains. The local chapter encouraged attendance, but warned that “participants are subject to the laws of ‘Offensive Conduct’ enforced by NSW Police and ‘Offensive Behaviour’ enforced by Transit Police”.
Having attended last year sans-pants, I thought, this year, I would go in my trousers and my ‘professional capacity’. And as the pants-free train riders circled Sydney on trains, I spoke to people on platforms to find out whether the proverbial man (or [...]
Lexcursions – Life after Law
‘Reinvent Your Career’ was the theme of a recent expo at the Sydney Convention Centre, promising representatives from “organisations excited to meet mature-age career transitioners”. I set off to find out just how excited they would be to meet me, in the guise of a lawyer who had been forced into the ultimate career transition.
“I’ve just lost my practising certificate.”
The recruiter from ASIS was still excited to meet me.
That’s great,” she said, shaking my hand. “Half our intake last year were lawyers.
“An ex-lawyer,” I corrected.
“It really doesn’t matter – so long as the issue was nothing criminal.”
“No. Not as yet.”
“Then [...]
Radio Atticus – Erin Brockovich interview
Much to my surprise, I was invited to ‘An Afternoon with Erin Brockovich’ for the launch of the new Sydney office of Shine lawyers. I was one of many lawyers there who wondered why they had been invited, but decided to attend. I took the opportunity to interview Erin Brockovich for Radio Atticus.
See Radio Atticus for the full show.
Lexcursions – Secret Santa
“We are desperately seeking Santas,” pleaded an employment agency’s ad in the paper. “There’s a shortfall of a few hundred … to fill roles in shopping centres and department stores.” The deputy editor of LSJ brought the item to my attention.
“If they’re that desperate,” she said, “maybe you should apply.”
Dutifully, I rang the ‘Santa hotline’ and was patched through to a faraway woman for a telephone interview.
I was expecting 20 questions. I was asked about three. Did I like Christmas? Could I handle the suit and fake beard? And of course: ‘Do you like children?’
“I love children,” I replied. “But [...]
Radio Atticus – sixth brush with the law
The sixth installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at undisclosed Markets.
Ruby sat down and said she has information that would help prove the someone who has been in prison for 14 years is innocent.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Radio Atticus – fifth brush with the law
The fifth installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Kingscliff Markets. Tom was concerned about his neighbour’s dead tree.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Lexcursions – Cutting through Clerkships
A university was kind enough to send me an invitation, via Twitter, to a ‘Clerkship Networking Evening’, promoted as providing “an invaluable opportunity … to allow students to ascertain which firms they will target … Similarly, it allows the representatives from each firm to identify potential employees and interact with candidates in … free-flowing discussion.”
I thought I would test just how freely the discussion would flow when I, posing as a cocky young law student, approached the law firms with one question in mind: “So, who pays the most?”
The woman from HR was confused.
“As in, which clients pay the most?”
“Who [...]
Radio Atticus – fourth brush with the law
The fourth installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Kingscliff Markets. Cheryl wanted to discuss her son’s problems with occupational health and safety while working as a truck driver.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Satire – engineers beat lawyers
As the team of lawyers were quick to point out, 11 of the 27 prime ministers of this country have practised law. So how did a team of engineers convince an audience that they, rather than lawyers, would make better politicians, when even Gillard and Abbott both have law degrees?
Try this argument from the engineers’ second speaker, Andrew Pratley: “Australia had only one choice at the election, and that was to elect a lawyer. And what did we do? We rejected them both.”
The inaugural debate between Young Engineers Australia Sydney Division and the Law Society of NSW Young Lawyers was [...]
Radio Atticus – third brush with the law
The third installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Kingscliff Markets. Pat wanted some advice about her contract for installation of solar panels.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Lexcursions – Smokin’ at the Ball
The annual Young Professionals Charity Ball took place in September to raise money for the Royal Flying Doctors. The invitation asked: “Ever wanted to dance with a doctor, liaise with a lawyer, engage with an engineer or accost an accountant?” Never having wanted to do any of those things, I decided not to attend.
But a week before the event, I met a young lawyer who got me to thinking. He said he planned to attend, but felt nervous because he had just quit smoking and thought he might be tempted to lapse on the night. It made me wonder which [...]
Radio Atticus – second brush with the law
The second installment of my segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Glebe Markets. Jerry wanted some advice about negotiating an easement to clear his neighbour’s land for bush fire protection so he could obtain a development approval to build a new house.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Radio Atticus – first brush with the law
The first installment of my new segment ‘Brush with the Law’ on Radio Atticus – 2SER’s show on law and social justice (also broadcast on the Community Radio Network).
I set up a market stall and offer people free legal advice. This was recorded at Glebe Markets. Brad sat down to ask about a potential criminal charge of common assault.
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Lexcursions – Graffiti Clean Up Day
This year, the NSW Attorney General announced the inaugural Graffiti Action Day – a sort of ‘Clean Up Australia Day’ for graffiti. I’ve always had a soft spot for graffiti and so decided to take action. My plan: to volunteer and, working from the inside, persuade my fellow cleaners to preserve an artistic piece or two.
I arrived at the nominated Redfern address at the appointed time and circled the block looking for pieces most worthy of preservation. I couldn’t see much graffiti about and, wondering what we would clean, returned to the meeting point to find a woman sitting twiddling [...]
Engineers v Lawyers – debate
I spoke as second speaker for the lawyers in the inaugural NSW Young Engineers v NSW Young Lawyers debate. The topic was (or at least should be interpreted as): ‘That Engineers make better politicians than lawyers’.
As I seem to know many more engineers than I had ever previously realised, and as they all seem to be very interested in the outcome of this debate, I thought I would post the lot.
With engineers outnumbering lawyers by about 10 to 1 in the crowd, the event emphasised the importance of having a sympathetic audience. It can be difficult attacking engineers [...]
Lexcursions – Drinking with the Enemy
Instead of watching Australia’s World Cup matches from the comfort of my own home (or the discomfort of Darling Harbour), I decided to go to opposition dens – wearing, of course, green and gold.
Locating dens for Germany and Serbia was easy, both having dedicated clubs in Sydney, but for Ghana I needed some help.
Perusing the Ghana Association website, I came across the name of a Ghanaian lawyer, Kwame Koramoah. I cold-called. “I want to go drinking with the enemy,” I explained. “Can you help me find a gang of Ghanaians at midnight on Saturday night?” Kwame thought a chaperone might [...]
Satire – Golden Gavel 2010
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2010.
Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was ‘Barristers – without solicitors they’re really just fluff and stuffing’. 500+ lawyers watch the event.
This was the last year I am ‘young’ enough to compete so I went for broke and tried to put on a real show. I also took the opportunity to made fun of: the President of Young Lawyers, the President of the Lawyer Society and the Honourable Justice Bergin Chief Judge in Equity of [...]
2002: A World Cup Odyssey – book launch – part 1
Speeches by Serene Johnson and me at the launch of my book ’2002: A World Cup Odyssey – or how I learned to stop worrying and love the game’. The launch was held at the Friend in Hand Hotel in Glebe on Sunday 11 July 2010.
2002: A World Cup Odyssey – book launch – part 2
A reading and speech by me at the launch of my book ’2002: A World Cup Odyssey – or how I learned to stop worrying and love the game’. The launch was held at the Friend in Hand Hotel in Glebe on Sunday 11 July 2010.
Lawyers Weekly – lawyer tells of football and beer
An Australian lawyer has taken his admiration for the FIFA World Cup to new heights by publishing a book about his efforts to watch as many matches in as many pubs in as many different countries as possible.
Anthony Jucha of Jucha Legal will release his book, titled 2002: A World Cup Odyssey or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Game, on the eve of this year’s World Cup final.
The book’s concept is simple: take a young and enthusiastic man (Jucha), who knows very little about football, plonk him in Europe and send him forth [...]
Lexcursions – How Golden was my Gavel?
The following is an edited version of my Golden Gavel swansong on 21 May 2010 for Law Week. I had been asked to speak on the topic: ‘Barristers: without solicitors, they’re really just fluff and stuffing’.
[Anthony walks on stage wearing what is effectively a fat suit made of teddy bears: one stuffed up his shirt, one in the back of his pants and one stuffed halfway down the front of his pants.]
… Don’t get me wrong – I like barristers. Everyone likes a bit of fluff – on the side. And I’m all for stuffing – on the front, on [...]
Drinking with the Enemy – Australia v Germany from the Concordia Club
At 1:30am, my alarm tossed me out of bed and into a taxi.
“To Darling Harbour?”
I was actually headed (replete in my Australia-gear) for the Concordia Club, a German Club, but what the hell, it would be good to savour the mainstream Sydney scene.
“To Darling Harbour then! Many people about?”
“Too early to tell.”
I leapt from the cab at Darling Harbour with my train to Tempe due to leave Central Station in about 15 minutes.
The scene tasted like sick. The official ‘Fanfest’ appeared to be already full and, outside of the flashing lights of the compound, on the cold pavement [...]
Socceroos leave Australians cold after Durban disaster
Sydney – Thousands of Australian football fans thronging Sydney’s Darling Harbour entertainment precinct on Monday stood with blank faces in front of blank screens trying to come to terms with a monumental 4-0 loss to Germany.
The fanatics amongst them had dreamt of an upset victory in their opening World Cup game in South Africa and the optimists of a draw against the three-time champions.
What unfolded in Durban was worse than either camp expected.
The magnitude of the defeat was conceded by captain Lucas Neill.
“As a whole, we made silly mistakes and we got punished and at this level that’s what happens,” [...]
Lexcursions – Unprecedented Lunch
I first encountered the book Letters for Lawyers in the old Sydney University law library some years ago. This book of conveyancing precedents, now nearly a decade in print, had become as weathered and worn as the library itself. A splitting spine spoke of perusals aplenty and many a pressing against photocopier glass.
When I first encountered the book’s author, Garry Barnsley (in much better shape than his book), I was curious about this local pioneer in legal precedent publishing. I wondered what would make such a (doubtlessly boring) man tick. And so, when planning a trip to his locale, I [...]
Golden Gavel All the Go
Renowned for being worth the 7.30am start, there will be plenty of giggling lawyers in Sydney this morning after the annual golden gavel competition.
This year 12 candidates fight it out in the hope of making it through to the national event in Canberra in October.
The Golden Gavel is not for the faint-hearted. Last year, contestant Anthony Jucha, from Jucha Legal, dressed in drag – complete with a wig – in the hope of acquiring the gavel trophy. (He came second.)
Competitors are given their own question to answer and 24 hours to prepare to be judged by NSW Supreme [...]
Lexcursions – Choose Your Own Obsession
“I want to design a computer game about lawyers, for lawyers,” I announced to my group at the Computer Game Design Workshop.
The workshop was part of a ‘retro gaming weekend’ at the Sydney Powerhouse Museum. A professor of ‘gameology’ was hosting what she described as “a four hour geek-fest” to teach about 30 of us how to design our own computer games.
The five other geeks in my group considered my proposition.
“Are you thinking RPG?”
“It could be,” I said (trying to cover my then ignorance of the acronym for ‘role playing game’.)
“I guess it could work [...]
Lexcursions – Little Congwong Beach
In February the police raided an unofficial nude beach in Sydney – Little Congwong Beach – and demanded the unclothed reclothe, or else.
People have been going naked at the beach for decades, but it was my first visit there when I met Juan and his wife Katina at the beach on a sunny Saturday morning.
“We don’t know everyone here by name,” said Juan as we walked to their favourite spot. “But we tend to see the same faces every week … and sometimes we see more than that.”
Katina stripped off and lay on her towel.
Juan did [...]
Lexcursions – Firm Recruitment at Pet Fair
My law firm does not have a real office, but if it did it, I imagine it would be quite nice to have an office pet. Something to help settle the clients. A waiting-room stress ball, with fur.
Seeking such a pet for my firm, I went to Sydney University’s Veterinary School pet fair. Following (and sometimes holding) my nose, I stopped at a white rabbit settled in a big man’s stroking hands.
“I’m looking for a pet for my law firm,” I said. “Would this make a good office pet?”
“A ‘Rex’ rabbit might work,” he said. “It’s a [...]
Lexcursions – The Medium is the Message
You might have noticed the recent advertising campaign for holidays in Daylesford. My partner Sally certainly did. And we (being she) chose Daylesford for our Christmas holidays.
If it had been Christmas 1864, we might have regretted the decision. Daylesford was then the scene of a notorious murder: local resident Margaret Graham was killed by a murderer who, allegedly, had come down the chimney.
Christmas was ruined! Daylesford’s populace was afraid. The police charged a vagrant, David Young, with the crime.
Evidence was adduced from a doctor (a ‘Dr Doolittle’), a scientist (“I cannot dis-tinguish male hairs from female hairs”), [...]
Lexcursions – Getting into the Gift-Giving Spirit
Do you struggle over what to get people for Christmas or Hannukah? It is a difficult time of year, filled with difficult people, but if you make time to pause in your armchair, and take an internet excursion, you can find the perfect gifts to make the season merrier for you.
If your employees expect an annual bonus, then this year, write a cheque and place it inside a ‘Trick Wooden Puzzle Box’. “The puzzle is to open the puzzle box.” Naturally, “if they can’t do the puzzle, they can’t have the gift”. (http://tinyurl.com/yfmmotr)
If you have been acting for a valued [...]
Lexcursions – Tie Me Up
There is a look for every occasion – a suitable colour and style for every moment and mood. But, for the male lawyer, constructing the right look for a legal occasion comes down pretty much to the right choice of tie. I ponder this often as I try to select the right strip of dangling colour to brighten an otherwise grey pinstriped day.
How might menswear sales assistants respond, I wondered, if I gave them the task of selecting just the right tie, for just the right occasion, for me – a lawyer who seemed just a little bit wrong.
I sat [...]
Lexcursions – We Have Everything Here in Fiji
This year, my partner (as in romantic, not professional) and I decided to have a holiday in Fiji. We booked the holiday and, a week later, Fiji’s constitution was suspended. After a little deliberation, we decided to go anyway. And, given the recent events, we (as in I) thought we should take the opportunity to see how Fiji’s legal institutions are holding up.
Our driver, Ramesh, collected us from our resort. Driving at sedate speeds, he shared his thoughts all the way to the magistrates court of a village nearby. Ramesh was dismayed at the damage being done to Fiji by [...]
Lexcursions – Parkour: Running Free
Parkour is a sport (of sorts) played in public spaces. It involves running and jumping and climbing over walls and stairs and almost anything else. It is sort of like skateboarding, with no skateboard. Or surfing, on coral, with no surfboard, or water.
On a sunny Sunday afternoon, I went to Pyrmont Point for an Australian Parkour Association beginner’s class. I spotted a guy doing back-flips.
“Are you with Parkour?”
“Yeah, you register over there – under the tree.”
Beneath (and in) the tree were at least a hundred young folks bouncing and chatting and leaping about. I had seen them, but did not [...]
Lexcursions – Pro Bono in Public
The National Pro Bono Resource Centre encourages each lawyer to provide at least 35 hours of pro bono legal advice every year. I signed up to this aspirational target and, in the very first year of the scheme, met my non-billing budget. But my contribution wasn’t noted in the centre’s annual report – I forgot to submit my first pro bono timesheet.
This year, the centre announced a competition for short films about pro bono legal advice. Pro bono for prizes, indeed, cash prizes! This was more like it. This year, I decided, not only would I meet my pro bono [...]
Lexcursions – The Perils of Technology
Sydney recently hosted the Australian version of the world’s biggest IT exhibition – CeBIT. (That’s short for Centrum der Büro- und Informationstechnik.)
I went along to run a little ruse. I adopted the guise of a partner from a large law firm, looking for technology to help make my firm more efficient. Something to help the firm reduce costs. Something, I said, to help make a few people redundant.
I arrived, in a sharp suit and stern tie, scanned my ticket, hung it around my neck, and entered the hall. Exhibitors stood, clutching pamphlets, willing me with their smiles to peruse pretty [...]
Young Lawyers Debate
I was the third speaker for the Solicitors team in this debate between Young Barristers and Young Solicitors. The topic was: ‘Litigation needs more Denny Cranes and less Shirley Schmindts’.
Golden Gavel 2009
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2009. Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. I came runner up in 2009. My topic was: ‘Women lawyers do it better’.
Monopoly Documentary – Under The Boardwalk
I represented QLD in the Australian Monopoly Championships in 2010 and appeared in a documentary about the World Championships.
See about 1:58 in the video.
See here for information about the documentary.
Pro Bono @ Glebe Markets
Pro Bono @ Glebe Markets is a short film about me setting up a stall at Glebe Markets to offer free legal advice.
The film won a highly commended in the National Pro Bono Resource Centre’s 2009 Short Film Competition.
See: National Pro Bono Resource Centre
Special thanks:
Sally Read
Fan Huang
Mi Storm
Andy Vegas
James
Grundy
Holly
Sarah
Simon
Serene
Anika
Glebe markets
National Pro Bono Resource Centre
Monopoly Champions
An article in Sacred Heart’s Blue and Blue magazine.
Lexcursions – Fancy Footwork and Hustling Rents for Paper Profits
I WAS BACK! I HAD BEATEN hundreds of other hopefuls to get to the finals and was now representing Queensland (of all places) in the Australian Monopoly Championships, held last month on the vertiginous 88th floor of Melbourne’s Eureka Tower.
My last shot at the title, back in ’91, when I was South Australia’s best, had been not quite good enough. Since then, I had spent 18 long years waiting, biding my time, distracting myself with the law, and all the while honing my skills in negotiating deals, managing risks and, of course, most important of all – fighting dirty.
My start [...]
Former Adelaide Lawyer Gains the Monopoly
The Today Show – Monopoly
As seen on Channel Nine’s Today Show.
On a Roll
There’s little room for fun and games when the nation’s Monopoly masters meet to decide who’s chairman of the board.
There’s a palpable frisson on the 88th floor of Melbourne’s Eureka Tower. Through floor-to-ceiling windows, the streetscape stretches out to the horizon like a child’s play mat nearly 300m below. Against this auspicious backdrop, eight would-be moguls eye each other warily and contemplate their game plan. Each has come with a singular ambition: to bankrupt their opponents and make their fortune.
Welcome to the 2009 Australian Monopoly Championships. During the next couple of hours, the country’s best Monopoly masters will do battle [...]
High Drama Unfolds in Melbourne Property Crash
Australia’s own sub-prime scenario unfolded with alarming speed and high drama in Melbourne today.
In a matter of minutes, a property portfolio worth millions turned into worthless paper.
Another empire built on leveraged deals and misplaced hope crumbled in a fraction of the time it took to be built.
Homes bought on an impulse for more than they were worth were handed back to the bank for a song.
Dreams were dashed, futures that once flashed brightly crashed spectacularly.
Remarkably, it all happened in an atmosphere of good humour and “better luck next time” resignation.
Which is no more than you might expect at the Australian [...]
9am with David & Kim – Monopoly Olympics
As seen on Channel Nine’s morning program, 9am with David & Kim.
Triple J – Monopoly
Lawyer Heads the Board at Monopoly
Table Tycoon Aims to Take on the World
ANTHONY Jucha’s aim is to bankrupt everyone and build hotels all over London.
The 34-year-old Glebe lawyer has just been crowned Queensland Monopoly champion, beating 50 other Monopoly tragics.
After coming second at the NSW Monopoly Championships on January 10, Mr Jucha decided to fly to Brisbane the next day to contest the Queensland title.
He played three one-hour games with up to five players using new speed dice rules, which propel players ahead.
It was a long time between victories for Mr Jucha, who won the South Australian title aged 17 back in 1991.
What is his strategy?
“I don’t have favourite sites,” he said. [...]
Glebe Local is on a Roll
This Monopoly Knows No Borders
IF you can’t beat `em, go interstate. Anthony Jucha came second in the New South Wales Monopoly Championship, so flew up from Sydney overnight to attempt to go one better.
Which he did, getting crowned Queensland champ at Westfield Garden City on Sunday.
(Southern Star – 14 January 2009)
ABC News – Monopoly Championships
Golden Gavel 2008
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2008. Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was ‘Opposites attract: lawyers and accountants were meant to be together’.
Tinged with Gilt
The complete audio from my show at the Adelaide Fringe festival in 2008: ‘Tinged with Gilt’
About 1 hour.
Tinged with Gilt – Independent Weekly Review
A scorching autumn night in the Tin Shed at the Wheatsheaf Hotel Thebarton was no place to play it straight and Anthony Jucha didn’t try.
Tinged with Gilt, his latest Fringe offering, was tinged with laughter, surprise appearances by two people in a horse costume and a re-enactment of Michael Hutchence’s last hours.
Jucha, a lawyer with a conscience, touch of madness and an apparent penchant for ladies’ underwear, mixed multimedia with live comedy and music. Jucha and friend Michael Hicks take the crowd on Jucha’s rambling, but entertaining journey from corporate lawyer to defending the citizens of Redfern, Sydney and refugees.
His [...]
Golden Gavel 2007
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2007. Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was: ’10 tips for a more effective resignation letter’.
Dave & Bec’s Wedding
My best man’s speech at my brother’s wedding.
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Thank Yous
Thank yous live from the field.
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – The Final: Brazil v France
My reading of The Final: Brazil v France live from the field.
The Final: Brazil v France from Santo Angelo
Our bus from Santo Tome arrived in Santo Angelo at 6pm. We originally intended to take an overnight bus to Porto Alegre, but our discussions with our (non English speaking) bus ticket agent had persuaded us that it would be impossible to reach Porto Alegre before Brazil’s match at 4pm the next day. Now, our discussions with our (non English speaking) bus conductor were confusing the issue.
The bus conductor alighted with us at Santo Angelo. Having already gleaned that we would like to ultimately go to Porto Alegre, he took us to the counter and started booking tickets on our [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Argentina v Germany
My reading of Argentina v Germany from live in the field.
Argentina v Germany from Santo Tome
Sao Borja was good to us. We replenished ourselves on healthy lunches at Hotel Brazil and explored the town without language or a map to help us out. There seemed nothing to do there but eat, sleep and hang around the hotel – three of my four favourite things and best done, in combination, with the fourth.
Studying the dining hall’s Mundial chart, I realised that we faced another round of back-to-back Argentina and Brazil matches. There would be only twenty-eight hours between kick offs. We decided to go back to nearby Santo Tome in Argentina in the morning to watch [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Brazil v Ghana
My reading of Brazil v Ghana from live in the field.
Brazil v Ghana from Sao Borja (I think)
Check out time at the Hotel Recidencial Misiones in Posadas was at the unholy hour of 10am. Despite our best plans to achieve much in the morning, while our packs were secure in our room, we only just made it out in time to beat the knock on the door.
The World Cup was starting to look tougher. We thought we were reasonably close to the Brazilian border, but the previous day had been a wash out with rain and so we had now only 26 hours to cross the border and settle down before a Brazilian TV. I had also [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Argentina v Mexico
My reading of Argentina v Mexico from live in the field.
Argentina v Mexico from Posadas
Brazil’s defeat of Japan gave rise to some drunken loose plans for us to travel to Corrientes or Resistencia to watch the match between Argentina and Mexico. With the World Cup slowing down, we figured we would now be able to move greater distances and at a more relaxed pace. I went to bed looking forward to catching up on some sleep, my writing and possibly even a little clothes washing!
The next morning, my mind wailed with the shrill realisation that Argentina’s match was at 4pm tomorrow. We would need to travel today! I broke the news to Sal who [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Brazil v Japan
My reading of Brazil v Japan live from the field.
Brazil v Japan from Parque Nacional do Igacu
It was a beautiful sunny day in Brazil! Sally and I were thrilled to be visiting the Igacu waterfalls again, but this time from Brazil’s side of the Rio Igacu. We had been assured there would be a restaurant and bar at the top of the falls with a giant television and comfortable seats for us to watch the match between Brazil and Japan. We would not face the frustration and indignation of trying to follow the match through a radio again. Of course, we still needed to make it there on time and with kick off at 4pm, we [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Argentina v The Netherlands
My reading of Argentina v The Netherlands from live in the field.
Argentina v The Netherlands from Igacu Nacional Parque
When I had gone to bed, at about 4am, the weather was dry. At 10:30am, when I awoke in our deliciously dark room, I could hear heavy rain. ‘Good’ I thought. It would be an excuse to call the day off. Then Sal came into the room, perky, wearing her Argentine top.
“It’s raining outside, I said. “I was thinking, perhaps we could call the day off: on account of the rain?
“What? said Sal. “You want to call the day off?
Her reaction surprised me a bit. I thought she might conspire with me and allow a quiet couple enclosure to develop [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Paraguay v Trinidad & Tobago
My reading of Paraguay v Trinidad & Tobago from a little town near Itaipu from live in the field.
Paraguay v Trinidad & Tobago from a little town near Itaipu
It was a cloudy hot day for Paraguay’s last match in the Cup. I woke worried and paranoid, feeling trouble in the air. We had heard more and more about crime in Paraguay and I was still a little nervous following our minor scare after Brazil’s match with Australia. We’d just changed rooms in our hostel and learned that the previous tenants had taken the keys and so, for the moment, we could not lock our room. It added to my sense of insecurity. I implemented my usual risk management plan of securing everything inside (and to) a cupboard with [...]
2002: A World Cup Odyssey – Brazil v Australia
My reading of Brazil v Australia from live in the field.
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Brazil v Australia from Foz do Igacu
We were so excited in the morning! Oh, what to wear!? We still had our Brazil tops from Sao Paulo, but felt unsure about dressing up to support what, for the first time, would be the ‘other’ team. We decided to wear the tops anyway for the spirit of the day. We had an Australian flag so we could show our true allegiances when the time came.
My cold felt much better. My back didn’t hurt. Five hours sleep now seemed plenty enough! Marching down the street, we felt like emissaries sent to Brazil in times of international war. We would [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro
My reading of Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro from Puerto Igacu from live in the field.
Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro from Puerto Igacu
My calculations showed that kick off would happen at 8am local time. I had set my alarm for 5am. I made it out of bed at 6:45. Desperate for more sleep, I spent 10 minutes on the Internet rechecking my calculations in light of knowledge of time zones gained the day prior in Paraguay. It still came out as an 8am start.
I asked the front desk what time the Argentina World Cup match started. They told me buses would start leaving for Argentina at 7am. I decided to give up on seeking any more information and that we should leave [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Paraguay v Sweden
My reading of Paraguay v Sweden from Ciudad el Este from live in the field.
Paraguay v Sweden from Ciudad el Este
Sally and I farewelled our friends in Sao Paulo, enjoyed an easy cab ride to the airport, checked in early and sat drinking good coffee in a sunny patch in the airport.
Our flight would take us to a little town called Foz do Iguacu. This destination had been picked out for us by our Brazilian friend Camilla who had conspired to keep us inside her home country, but just near the borders of Argentina and Paraguay. We shared laughs about strolling over borders from now on!
Sally and I boarded our flight collecting a bundle of free newspapers with glee. I [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Brazil v Croatia
My reading of Brazil v Croatia from Sao Paulo from live in the field.
Brazil v Croatia from Sao Paulo
We arrived in Sao Paulo on the 11th of June, the day before Brazil’s Valentine’s day and two days before Brazil’s first World Cup match.
The trip to Sao Paulo was a twelve-hour affair. LAN Chile first took us west, over snow topped mountains, and into Santiago before back east again to arrive at Sao Paulo. ‘The old Pepe and Fru Lemon Chello’ help ease our plane pain.
Immigration at Sao Paulo took maybe an hour. Casually dressed, kind and young staff, did their best to help us fill in forms and work our way through, but the immigration officials at the [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Argentina v Ivory Coast
My reading of Argentina v Ivory Coast from Buenos Aires from live in the field.
Argentina v Ivory Coast from Buenos Aires
Waiting at the airport at Quito, we felt sombre, sobering up, drinking coffee, waiting for our flight to leave. All in the small airport lounge quiet, save for one American fellow ‘ half Irish, half Ecuadorian he said. He was diminutive with thick black hair and a stagger and a plastic bag under his arm.
“Where you guys going?”
“Buenos Aires,” I said freely thinking there would be no chance.
“Oh great! That’s where I’m going! See you half way for a Jack Daniels he said winking and patting his bag.
“I’ll drink your bourbon, but we need to work, I said truthfully, but [...]
2006: A World Cup Odyssey – Ecuador v Poland
My reading of Ecuador v Poland from Quito from live in the field.
Ecuador v Poland from Quito
Four years should have been enough time to prepare. Enough time to plan a route, learn the language, buy the equipment and work out how to use it. But no. only four weeks out from the Cup, we started booking our tickets.
And the night before out departure, we sat in our flat with boxes of unopened, untested, technology galore. The rush of it was awful, but we took comfort from anticipation of one luxury – membership at the Qantas Club. Its something I find hard to reconcile or explain, but lawyers, it seems, get free counselling and home loans and [...]
& Other Difficulties
The complete audio from my show at the Adelaide Fringe festival in 2006: ‘& Other Difficulties’
About 1 hour.
Tinged with Gilt – The Adelaide Fix
The funniest moments in this show were actually provided by Rundle Mall shoppers during a vox pop-style !lm segment shown at the start of the evening. Anthony Jucha (pronounced Yoo-ha) presents a show outlining one lawyer’s trials and tribulations from Sydney to Port Kemble to Redfern and back again. There are moments of interest – one can’t avoid the sexual strangulation scene – however for the most part the show lacked rhythm and at times didn’t seem to even have much point. There were a couple of giggles, even a few extended chuckles, but nothing that could produce a decent [...]
Dancing
This is a scene from my comedy show ‘& Other Difficulties’ performed at the Adelaide Fringe festival in 2006. The scene explores my experiences of dancing and night clubs.
Golden Gavel 2006
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2006. Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was ‘Work choices for lawyers: more hours, same money or more hours, same money’.
Writing »
Gonzo Journalism – Turkey Business
Last Christmas, I was poisoned by my mother-in-law. It was nothing personal. She poisoned her heavily pregnant daughter as well.
“Urgh!” announced my better half from the bathroom. “That’s the first spew of my pregnancy.”
“I blame the turkey,” I said pushing past for a turn at the bowl.
“But you didn’t even eat the turkey.”
“Exactly,” I said with a splatter. “That’s how bad it was.”
But I had no idea how bad it was until, this silly season, I went to see some turkeys.
“There must be quite a build up of stock for Christmas,” I said to my animal liberationist guide, Emma, as [...]
Video »
Satire – Golden Gavel 2010
My speech in the NSW Young Lawyer’s Golden Gavel public speaking competition in 2010.
Competitors are assigned a topic at random less than 24 hours before the event. My topic was ‘Barristers – without solicitors they’re really just fluff and stuffing’. 500+ lawyers watch the event.
This was the last year I am ‘young’ enough to compete so I went for broke and tried to put on a real show. I also took the opportunity to made fun of: the President of Young Lawyers, the President of the Lawyer Society and the Honourable Justice Bergin Chief Judge in Equity of [...]
Audio »
Guerilla Law – complaints about police
I set up my ‘free legal advice’ stall in Glebe. Two young men sat down and said they were sick of being hassled by the police. I told them that the best thing to do would be to avoid the police in question. I also told them how to make a complaint about the police.
I recorded the conversation and it was broadcast on 2SER’s law show ‘Radio Atticus’. You can listen below:
See Radio Atticus at 2SER for the full show.
Media »
Satire – engineers beat lawyers
As the team of lawyers were quick to point out, 11 of the 27 prime ministers of this country have practised law. So how did a team of engineers convince an audience that they, rather than lawyers, would make better politicians, when even Gillard and Abbott both have law degrees?
Try this argument from the engineers’ second speaker, Andrew Pratley: “Australia had only one choice at the election, and that was to elect a lawyer. And what did we do? We rejected them both.”
The inaugural debate between Young Engineers Australia Sydney Division and the Law Society of NSW Young Lawyers was [...]
Store »
Satire – What Makes a Man Bare All?
Anthony’s 2004 Adelaide Fringe debut takes us on a journey that bares all. With musical support from Gary and Rob (and constant interruptions by Michael Hicks), the show features such unusual explorations as:
• why spotted ties send the wrong message
• the rejection letter poem
• the army, cocaine, grenades and me
• why thinking about work can actually increase arousal
• losing your virginity; beware the dark blue ring
• hard up at the puppetry of the penis auditions
• the brighter side of breaking your penis
• a long weekend sleeping out with the homeless
If there is a place in hell for you [...]
